Trojan Man: Toys for boys

A quick Google search of the term “sex toy” will give one the impression that such intimate products are strictly a female commodity. I’m sure that when the topic is brought up, vibrators and dildos come to mind.

Female sex toys have reached a comfortable level of acceptance in today’s society. Nobody’s surprised to find that you have a little friend hidden away in the bedside drawer. But when you find out a man has something stashed away? That’s not normal. He must be a perv or something.

Men’s sex toys are rarely actually targeted for men. Instead, they’re targeted for “couples.” This, of course, is a lot easier to justify to anyone that asks. When things are specifically for men, they’re almost always associated with some pathetic perversion or a laughable gag gift: lube, blow-up dolls, a Fleshlight. Men, it seems, can’t be that sexually adventurous without a woman present, otherwise they must have some weird fetish.

Gentlemen, screw the haters. I’m sure Lefty has been doing a pretty decent job, but there is a whole other world out there that you really should experience. Yes, many of the products out there are mostly for laughs (disclaimer: banging a blow-up doll may work for some, but you can’t do so sober without feeling more shame than pleasure). But if you are willing to cut through the frat-oriented stuff, legitimate adult entertainment companies like Tenga, JimmyJane, and Fleshlight have been engineering some stuff you really have to try.

Take, for instance, the Tenga Egg masturbation sleeve. “An egg? Really?” you say. Again, don’t be scared away by thinking you’ll turn into a sleazy pervert with one try. It costs about $10 and, no joke, changes the game. You may never look at breakfast the same way again. Or take a look at the aforementioned Fleshlight: Yes, they have the pretty literal, “here, a flashlight with lips.” But on the less sensational side, they have the Flight. It’s smaller (which only serves to boost your ego) and sleeker than the “Zack and Miri Make a Porno” version and, like their advertisers tease, your girlfriend might start to feel jealous.

But no matter how good of an experience these products give, the first step is being comfortable with the idea of actually spending the money on one of these things. Most guys masturbate once a day, so we definitely have the drive! Why not save the money from a trip to BJ’s and dip your toe into the water with an inexpensive treat? If it’s not for you, at least you tried it. But I can almost guarantee you won’t regret it.