I’m sure some of you love your family and all, so the idea of sitting down for a meal with them this Thanksgiving is a pleasant one. Eat, spend time together, blah, blah, blah.
     Every year Thanksgiving turns me into a cranky bastard, as I know I will be forced to salivate over a huge dinner in the company of people I really don’t want to be around, just because we come from the same bloodline.
     My family is cool sometimes, but when I have to sit down with them and feign interest in gravy and have a conversation about “How is school?” “How is work?” I can feel my eyes rolling to the back of my head.
     Not to mention having to put up with specific family members whom I cannot stand, the ones whose eyes are wide open and mouths will not shut up about topics they can only grasp in their own twisted, biased little way.
     Disagreements with these types always lead to messy arguments that will never end because THEY ARE ALWAYS RIGHT. Thanksgiving is supposed to be a holiday where you stop for a second to appreciate all of the positive things in your life, but I am averse to having to do that in a forced environment.
     Call me morbid, but spontaneous tragic events, not holidays, make me feel truly thankful for knowing my family. After the death of a relative earlier this year, it was easy to feel a closer bond to my family and appreciate the fact that we were all still alive.
     Planned occasions bring canned love to the surface. At the very least, Thanksgiving means that you will be eating a spectacular meal – specifically, turkey.
     As someone who does not eat flesh, nothing makes me feel sicker than watching people lick turkey fat off their fingers after stuffing turkey filled to the brim with stuffing into their greasy mouths (Tofurky is a whole other story, kids).
     OK, so I might be a little spoiled. Who knows, maybe I will grow to appreciate holidays like Thanksgiving and family dinners after I move out of this hemisphere (as soon as possible). This Thanksgiving holiday, however, there are some things I feel deeply thankful for.
     I give thanks that I am not a creature locked in a crowded, tiny cage my entire life only to be mutilated and become victim to mass slaughter – in order to be eaten by obese Americans who should be eating salad instead.
     I also have to give a shout out to the gods of Thanksgiving for the few days time off school – I don’t think anyone at Skyline would disagree with me on that one.