Dear Zoe,
I’m 19 and I’ve never had a boyfriend. That might bother a lot of other girls but for some reason I don’t think it’s a big deal. I think some boys are cute, but that’s about it. Sometimes I think it could be nice to have someone special but I don’t know if I’d be a very good girlfriend right now anyway. I’m too busy with school and working and having fun. I don’t really care but my friends are worried about me because they don’t think I’m normal. Also, most of them have boyfriends or at least really want one so they don’t get why I feel this way. Are they right to be worried?
-Normal, sort of
Dear Normal,
I can see why you friends might be worried about you and your love life but let me reassure you that you’re perfectly fine. It’s true that a lot of 19-year-olds are or want to be in relationships but there are plenty of others who are happily single. Your friends happen to fall into the former category while you’re a member of the latter group so this difference can cause conflict even with the best of intentions.
While I’m sure their concern is because they care about you and want you to be happy, you should remind them that you’re very content doing your own thing and don’t need someone else right now. You can also mention all the advantages of being single that they don’t get anymore, like doing things without having to consult a significant other, guilt-free flirting with lots of people, every night potentially being girls night out, not having to share the remote, etc. For all you know, maybe they are secretly jealous of the fact that you can do whatever you want whenever you want!
It sounds like you’re quite happy as a single person and so I say enjoy it while you can. One day, whether it be next week or next year or longer, you’ll meet someone who you will like enough to ditch your single status. Until then, you’re a very normal single woman who just happens to have lots of non-single friends. Don’t worry about it and tell your friends not to worry about you. Remind them that while a relationship has its own happiness and rewards, it’s not better than being single. It’s just different.
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