Dear Zoe,
When I first started dating my boyfriend, I found out he cheated on me. I was totally heartbroken but we stayed together and worked things out. We’ve been together for nine months and have been pretty happy overall. But for the past few weeks, he’s been acting like he did before I caught him cheating. He gets calls he won’t answer in front of me and texts that he goes to the other room to check. He’s late a lot of the time now and when I ask him where he’s been, he gets mad or tries to change the topic. He is still very affectionate and says he wants to be with me, but based on his behavior, I’m so scared he’s cheating on me again. Am I just being paranoid or should I confront him?
-Hoping It’s Not True
Dear Hoping,
No you’re not paranoid but I don’t think you should confront him. He’s made it obvious from his recent behavior that he’s back to his old ways. If he had a legitimate reason for acting so poorly towards you, he would make it clear instead of getting mad or changing the topic. Although there are sometimes very rare exceptions, I think that once a cheater, always a cheater. You deserve better so my advice to you is to just dump him. You already gave him a chance before and he’s an idiot for abusing your trust again. Leave him, move on and take care of yourself. You’ll meet a better, genuine guy soon enough and he’ll truly appreciate you as well as understand the value and meaning of fidelity.
——————————————-
Dear Zoe,
I’ve been on a few dates with this one girl and I like her, but I can’t tell if she’s into me or not. Sometimes she seems to really like me and other times she almost ignores me. I don’t know if she’s playing hard to get or just still not sure about me, but I’m started to get tired of the games. How can I tell if she really likes me and how long should I try dating her to see where things go?
-not a fan of chicks who play games
Dear Not A Fan,
She could be playing games or maybe she’s still not sure about how she feels towards you. A few dates isn’t very much time or exposure to another person to decide anything significant. I can see why this would be frustrating to you, especially if you’ve already decided that you’re into her. Unfortunately, this is a common aspect to dating and I hope that you can be a little more patient with her. I’m not a fan of playing games either and if you genuinely think she’s toying with you, feel free to call her on it or just stop dating her and find a new person who doesn’t play any dating games at all. However, I’m guessing that she probably just needs some more dates to get to know you better to help her make up her mind since you haven’t been dating very long.
Sometimes we don’t always know right away if we like someone as just friends or more than friends. So keep dating her, but maybe try to see her more often or try bringing up the topic of how you feel towards her. If she is welcoming to the idea of spending more time with you or is open to discussing what’s going on between the two of you or your feelings (and hers), then these are really good signs. You are the man, so maybe she’s just been waiting for you to make a more overt move. I think after a few weeks of more dates and deeper conversation, you’ll have a clearer idea of if she’s into you, or not, and then you can make an informed decision on whether you want to keep pursuing her.