Dear Zoe,
I want to approach girls to talk to them, but it’s weird to just walk up to someone on campus. Do you have any tips on how to meet women without it feeling forced for me, or potentially creepy for her? (My sister says it’s usually a turnoff when a strange guy starts flirting with her out of the blue.)
Ace ——————————————
Dear Ace,
First of all, let me applaud you on putting some thought into the flirting/dating process. It’s much less common for someone to actually take the time and effort to think about something meaningful to say or even bother with factoring in the other person’s perspective and opinion, so I’m really happy to see that you are concerned about this. Women respond best when they feel comfortable, so to increase your odds of flirting success, you need to find women in situations where they won’t feel threatened or uncomfortable by your approach.
Classes are a great way to meet people. You’re in it together, have a common subject to discuss and you’ll see each other regularly. Just start with an easy excuse like asking that cute girl who sits you behind you in English class what she thinks of the assignment. That can lead to conversations about outside interests…then the suggestion of studying together or working together on groups projects…all leading to an exchange of contact information. And, even if romantic sparks don’t end up flying, at the very least you’ll have a new friend.
You can do the same thing in a lot of other situations like if you join a club, volunteer, attend group field trips or even just hang out in regular places. Basically just make sure you have something in common to initially talk about with the other person and it should flow easily from there. If you are sincere and are just friendly in general, people should respond really well to you. Just start with a smile and I’m sure you’ll have great success in no time.
-Zoe
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Full text versions of these articles can be found in our print edition of The Skyline View. (Ask Zoe continued on next page)
Dear Zoe,
I just started dating this guy at work and things are going great. There’s no official work policy that says coworkers can’t date. But, I know my boss wouldn’t like it if he knew. What should I do?
Confused
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Dear Confused,
Great question! A lot of people meet their significant others through work and have very happy relationships, so I’m glad you’ve found someone special. However, dating at work is a bit tricky so I can see why you’re concerned.
You said that your company doesn’t have a specific policy prohibiting dating at work, so we know that you aren’t technically doing anything wrong. It’s too bad your boss doesn’t approve of relationships at work so that you feel the need to hide. However, it is a workplace and you should all be professional, so unless you’re planning on making out in front of everyone (which I most definitely do not recommend), I don’t think much should change on the surface anyway.
At this point in time, I don’t think your boss needs to know. You say it’s a new relationship and it’s with a coworker, not a superior, so there’s no obvious point of conflict.
As long as you two are still the same quality employees at work, and there’s no policy forbidding dating, then you lovebirds can just save the snuggling for when you’re spending time together off-hours. However, if there’s any potential work issue, like if either of you have any authority over the other person, or can influence salary decisions, etc. then you have a professional obligation to disclose this information.
-Zoe