What Women Want

In the hustle and bustle of today’s society of social pressures to remain virtually not single, it is always a struggle for men to figure out what it is that we women really want.

There is a very thin, and unfortunately to some, nonexistent line between cocky and confident. In fact, the line is so fine that most men do not even know or care that it exists, or they are too na’ve to realize when they cross it. And for those of you who are not familiar with that “fine line,” here it is. Take notes and apply the following to your next “guys’ night out.”

Cocky vs. ConfidentTo most women, cocky refers to an almost distasteful presence that is sensed almost immediately at first sight or first sentence as a man approaches them. Cocky refers to a man who knows (or at least assumes, because with that type of personality he definitely cannot) that he can get any woman that he wants. Cocky refers to a man who rates women on the infamous 1-10 scale, the scale that every woman would rather gauge her eyes out than be told what her rating is. But only a cocky man would rate women because he thinks he is a perfect 10, and would never even approach a woman who he would rate any less than a 7. A cocky man is a man who stands in a bar or club, hunts the room for his prey, and when he finds it, nudges his friend and says something along the lines of, “Aye, how much you wanna bet that I get her in bed with me by the end of tonight?,” and without hesitation goes in for the kill. These are the men whose hunts never prevail, because, as they fail to consider, the prey is much stronger, and is looking for a man who is located on the other side of that fine line.

Confident refers to a man who happens to look up from talking to his buddies at the bar and happens to see a girl who catches his eye. He does not go out looking for a girl to take home. Confident refers to a man who nudges his friend and says something along the lines of “Aye, do you think that I should go up and talk to her?” He is not interested in taking her home; he is interested in getting to know her. Confident is a man who only hopes to score her number by the end of the night in hopes of getting to spend more time with her, entrapped by numerous lost hours of conversation. Confident refers to a man who does not know that he is going to get her, but hopes that he is going to get her. Most importantly, a confident man will flash an enchanting smile, and effortlessly (but with some obvious nervousness, because, again, he is not cocky) starts up a flowing conversation. And after the night is over, he will not ask her to go home with him; he will ask her for her phone number hoping she will want to talk to him again.

So gentlemen, if that fine line is still transparent to you, here it is in simplest terms. Cocky is assuming, and confident is hoping. Cocky is not putting any effort in getting to know the girl, and giving up after she doesn’t give it up, because he feels he is too good to have to try. Confident is taking the time to get to know her, and continuing to try because he knows he has a lot to offer to such a great girl.

What Women Do Not WantTo start off with what women want would not be as effective as starting with what most of us do not want. We absolutely do not want a man who is cocky. Cocky men make most women sick, they are the core reason why men are often referred to as “pigs” (*). The biggest mistake that cocky men make is when they have the nerve to ask the girl if she wants to leave with him, implying that she should be so lucky to be able to be in his presence.

We also do not want a man who is shy and unsure of himself, a man that is afraid to approach a woman. The last thing that a woman wants to do is have to approach a man, or feel forced to end the relentless awkward silences. Also, a man that is unsure of him self makes us unsure of ourselves. A man that is quiet and unsure gives off the vibe that he is not interesting and leads a rather dull life with not much to offer.

What Women WantIt is very simple. We want a man who is confident. We want a man to approach us with a smile, ask us our name, sit himself down, offer to buy us a drink (**), give us a compliment, and ask us about our interests. Do not go ranting on about yourself. That shows lack of interest in the woman and too much interest in yourself.

The next time you see a girl at the bar in her five-inch Jimmy Choo stilettos, dark washed Citizen jeans, and iridescent satin racer-back top, know that she did not dress like that to get picked up, and got dressed like that to attract a man who will appreciate the fact that she took the time to get ready and to hopefully receive compliments. In a nut shell gentlemen, it is okay to love yourself, but it is not okay to be in love with yourself.

Sidebar

• Now ladies, in guys’ defense, it is important to know that calling men pigs is not politically correct, because only the cheaters and cocky men are pigs!• Do not get upset or offended if a guy does not offer to buy you a drink. Sometimes the guy gets so flustered that he forgets to ask, or you already have a drink and there is no point in asking anyway.