Trojan Man: Demystifying the One-Night Stand

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Trojan Man: Demystifying the One-Night Stand

Drawing by Alyssa Koszis/The Skyline View

Drawing by Alyssa Koszis/The Skyline View

Drawing by Alyssa Koszis/The Skyline View

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There was once a time when looking for sex meant more than just buying a girl a few beers or grinding up on that kinda-cute guy at the club. The popular notion of a relationship has essentially boiled down to the person you’re willing to call after a one-nighter, or makes you want one after a $20 date night. What’s happened to the having sex because you’ve been swept away, not being swept away by the sex?

Deep to its core, sex is a connection between two people. Lately, the only thing people seem to care about is the physical connection. Glorified celebs like those of the Jersey Shore or the latest Top 40 rapper can’t stop talking about the trophy they snagged and how amazing it was; these people, who can’t stand living their own lives without a drink in their hand. Should we really be basing our ideas on sex from them?

Sex isn’t just a physical connection, it’s an emotional one. Even those people who don’t give a rat’s-ass about love will tell you that sex makes them feel something; whether it’s powerful, accepted, loved or cared for. That’s what people really want out of sex, is to feel something good beyond that stimulation. The one-nighter is means to be the band-aid, an adrenaline shot to a broken heart, not the standard that people should shoot for when they go out to have fun.

Sex, good sex, needs the romance. It needs someone who is willing to put in the time to discover your secret pleasures, not someone who expects to just satisfy themselves. Good sex is never had with the girl you just met. It’s had on the third date after the blush in her cheeks from the roses you just gave her is at it’s reddest. It’s with the guy who lit the dozen candles that he’d bought just for tonight as you follow a trail of rose petals to a beautifully prepared palace just for you.

It’s not that a one-night stand isn’t good, people just need to see that a one-nighter is nothing compared to the kind of sex between two people who are emotionally connected. Sex is good because it isn’t easy to get, just like everything else in the world that’s worth working for.

“The magic that exists when you charm someone that you really want to connect with shouldn’t only exist in Disney movies. The passion that goes into making love to someone whose name you don’t have to strain to remember is impossible to compare to a forgotten night at the Motel 6. Even the Casanovas out there must admit that their best-remembered experiences aren’t limited to mere hours, but were weeks if not months long.”

This article has been updated to add one paragraph at the end. 5/15/2013 7:27 p.m.