Advice Nerd:

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Greetings, you’ve once again stumbled upon Advice Nerd, and this week I’ve received a response to one of my previous topics.

Jason writes:

I would like to point out to Mr. Nerd that dating friends can be a bad thing but in some cases be a good thing. If your best friend gets hurt by his/her ex, wouldn’t you be there to console them? I mean, if you like them enough to want to help them, if you ended up dating you know you will protect him or her. So I do not agree with the advice nerd.

Alright, Jason… I understand and completely agree that there are circumstances in which dating your friends can be a rewarding experience and that not all instances of this are necessarily bad. However, in my experience, dating your friends mostly ends badly. For most people (me included) the threat of pain doesn’t stop them. Sometimes you need the foundation of friendship in order to maintain a meaningful relationship. I was actually talking about the one-sidedness of being in love with a friend… what you’re talking about is a reciprocated relationship involving two friends, and I would be a hypocrite if I was against that.

Now that that’s settled, we can move on to this issue’s topic: the parental unit.

Anonymous writes:

My parents still try to control my life. How do you deal with parents who won’t let go?

An interesting conundrum, anonymous. There is a sizeable percentage of students at Skyline who feel the same pressure, I’m sure. This probably stems from living at home and mooching off of their parents for a long, long while. But hey… it’s free, right?

Get out of Dodge

Blow that chicken coop. Flee. Escape. Run very far away and never look back.

For many students plagued by their parents, finding happiness is simply a matter of moving out. If you don’t already have one, get a job. Then, save your money and rent an apartment. Once you’ve done that, you can hide from your parents all you want. If they give you guff, just remind them that you’re a self-sustaining individual. That’ll show ’em.

Establish boundaries

Whether or not you have your own apartment or a job, you still have the right to stand up for your dignity. You’re a college student living off of whatever you can find that’s cheap, so of course you’re going to need some help. But that doesn’t mean that they can treat you like a child… you’re obviously doing something with your life and they should respect that. Stand up for yourself as an adult and prove to them that you’re not the youngster they think you still are.

Suffer

If your parents are paying for your food, your rent, or anything at all, then you have no right to complain about anything. For every parent there are different standards for respect… I’m sure that my parents are going to see me differently than your parents see you. I’m lucky that mine already see me as a responsible adult, but for some letting go of their children can be a burdensome ordeal. If you’re still relying on their support, they still see you as their property. As I said before, sever the ties. Either that, or suffer.

Next issue’s Advice Nerd will be the last for the semester, so get your questions ready. I’ve been waiting for you.