Skyline College Runs the Table

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In response to the increasing number of people that turn to casinos when their primary professions fail to support their millennial lifestyles, Skyline is adding Gambling courses to it’s curriculum in the Fall.

“I don’t know why we didn’t add these classes sooner,” said current statistics professor John Freedbloke. “There are so many capable, amateur card players without degrees out there that could benefit from some formal instruction.”

The statistics classes at Skyline have traditionally used subjects like gambling odds and optimal likelihood for payout as examples to illustrate their mathematics, but rarely go in-depth into the gambling strategy. Many students respond well to these exercises in class, and those students who have applied the limited knowledge they do receive report marked success. However, teachers simply couldn’t devote the entire course to Gambling mechanics.

“Making money is just so hard these days,” said Skyline student Brandon Adams. “Learning how to win a month’s worth pay in one hand of poker is way more valuable than something useless like Chemistry.”

After receiving funds donated from institutions such as Lucky Chances and Artichoke Joe’s,,Skyline College has decided to educate students in efficient card playing techniques. New classes like “Principles of Texas Holdum,” “Introduction to Bluffing” and “Theories for Card Counting” will be added to the class schedule this Fall. At the time of this writing, all three classes have full registration with wait lists numbering in the teens.

“Card games in casinos have some of the worst statistical likelihoods for success when you’re an amateur,” Dean Raimondo Tramposo said. “So we decided to start by adding classes specifically targeting those areas.”

The decision to add the classes to the Skyline curriculum wasn’t as simple as it seems, however. Many department heads questioned the legitimacy or necessity of courses that rely so much on luck against surmountable odds with a potentially negative financial outcome. The turning point came when Business Professor G. Ortiz made the critical connection that lead the school board to rethink their classification.

“All fields of work require a great deal of luck and risk,” Ortiz said. “You have to be in the right place at the right time, and know when and how to apply your knowledge. The only difference between a lawyer making good money and a gambler making good money is the educational foundation.”

The classes are meant to test the popularity of subjects centered around gambling. If they do well, Tramposo went on to explain that they may add a plethora of new classes focusing on specific games of study. Roulette, craps, and even Go-Fish have all been considered.

“These classes will build valuable career skills for the luck-based professions of the future,” said Tramposo.

Disclaimer: This being April 1, it’s that time of the year again: happy April Fools’, Skyline College!! This article was written as part of “The Skyline View” April Fools’ celebrations and as such, the subject of the article is not real and didn’t happen nor take place.