I hate puppies

More than someone blocking the fast lane on the freeway, more than being scrunched in the middle seat on a five hour red-eye between a snoring Sumo wrestler and a screaming baby and more than all the logical fallacies committed on the Fox News channel, I hate puppies! If there’s one thing on this planet I hate more than anything, it’s cute little furry puppies. I just can’t stand them.

I can’t stand the way puppies flop around in the grass. Just the other day I was visiting some friends who live out in the country. They had just acquired a little Blue-healer pup named Lucky so we decided to take it outside with us for a walk. As soon as he got out the door, Lucky flopped down in the grass. He was rolling around, showing off his cute little furry puppy belly and just loving it. Then the little guy jumps up, gives a high-pitched squeak/bark and goes running behind his momma’s leg. It was just about the cutest little thing you’ve ever seen. Disgusting.

I can’t stand their cute little puppy breath. Puppies will run up to you and jump on you. All they want to do is play, play, play. As you sort of squirm away while their crawling on you they might get up on your shoulders. Once up there puppies will lick all over your face, tickling you with their little baby-puppy teeth and getting their puppy breath all over you. It’s absolutely adorable. I hate that.

Another trait that really gets my goat is when puppies wag their tails. I can’t stand it when I come home from a hard day and the first thing I see is this adorable little face looking up at me. You know what I’m talking about. That little panting puppy smile with the little furry tail wagging like he’s to just so happy to see me. Then here they come, jumping all over you and just wanting to play, play, play. How can you say no to that cute little fuzzy rascal? It’s just not fair.

Probably the thing I hate most about puppies is the way that they look at you. It’s the look of unconditional love. The look that says you can do absolutely nothing wrong in the eyes of that dog. Imagine the little guy playing and running with a pack of other cute fuzzy little puppies. He stops playing, his nose twitches, ears up and starring intensely. You’ve been spotted. He runs and jumps into your arms and kisses your face again, and again, and again. It’s so cute I just can’t stand it.

I can go on and on about how much I hate puppies.

I hate their cute little paws. I hate their fuzzy wagging tales, and I hate their sweet puppy breath. In addition, I hate how they like to go to the park and explore, play with other puppies and chase balls and squirrels. Did I
mention that I hate the way puppies like to snuggle and that I especially hate petting their scruffy little necks and fuzzy little ears.

Honestly, the worst thing about puppies, by and large, is the fact that according to the Humane Society, 4-5 million dogs and cats are euthanized by shelters each year.

More than 60 percent of those killed are dogs. Currently there are 6-8 million dogs and cats entering shelters each year. I really hate that!

If you’re interested in rescuing a dog (or a cat) from being euthanized please visit your local ASPCA. For more information please visit the links below:

http://www.humanesocietyall.com/help/
http://www.sfspca.org/adoptions/dogs?gclid=COrA0p_uhr4CFQVsfgodw0gA