There are some people, who, when they watch a film, are doing so in the hopes that the thing they are going to see will be “good”. There are certain expectations they have in regards to what constitutes a good film, and a film that fails to meet these expectations is, by extension, of poor quality. Everyone does this, but some people will not watch a film based on what they consider to be a preconceived lack of quality. I, however, am not one of these people, as I actively seek out horrible movies, and one of my favorite bad movies is the 1988 exercise in crapulence, “Mac and Me”, a generally awful film that also dubiously doubles as a 95 minute long commercial for McDonald’s, Coca-Cola, and occasionally Skittles.
The film’s premise is a stupefying rip off of “E.T.”, only done with puppets of a significantly lower quality, and stars Jade Calegory (Eric Cruise), Lauren Stanley (Debbie), Tina Caspary (Courtney), and Jonathan Ward (Michael Cruise).
The movie begins with a family of four puppets (err, aliens) being abducted from their home planet by a NASA space probe. The probe returns to earth, the puppets escape, the smallest one gets separated, hitches a ride with a family, the family eventually befriends it, then they have to help it find its puppet family and avoid the government. There—that’s the plot, which is generally unimportant to the film. The only function the plot serves in this film is to give it the guise of being a film. It’s a really expensive, long commercial, whose purpose, at the time of its release, was probably to trick people (mostly children) into thinking it was an actual movie, and then slapping them upside the head with product placement.
Subtle examples of how product placement seamlessly works its way into the film includes, but are not limited to: Courtney working at McDonald’s, and constantly wearing her uniform at all times; a groin kickingly stupid dance scene in a McDonald’s, which features a dangerous amount of popping/locking; and the magical powers of Coca-Cola, which are able to heal the aliens when sick. The small alien that the family befriends is also called Mac, an acronym for “Mysterious Alien Creature”, although it’s probably just a reference to a Big Mac.
Commenting on the poor quality of the acting seems kind of like kicking a fat child who is half stuck in a drain pipe, as it is both too easy and excessively cruel. However, as this is a film review, I am obliged to. To put it kindly, the puppets were not the stiffest actors in the film. With every line delivered, the hair on the back of my neck stood on end, and my desire to kill something, anything, rose significantly.
While the film is tremendously lame, it is almost equally hilarious, for totally unintentional reasons. The same qualities that make it irritating also make it worth watching. Scenes that are supposed to be serious are warped into comedy by the film’s absurdness (look up the notorious scene where the main character, Eric, falls off a cliff). In the end, that’s what keeps “Mac and Me” from being totally worthless. Its stupidity is both funny and enraging, which is more than enough reason to merit its existence.
