Zoos = Animal Brothels

I recently visited the San Francisco Zoo with some friends. It was an awesome trip, filled with nostalgia of childhood visits. My friends and I reminisced about when we were young and would visit the zoo with our respective parents and how much fun it was, running around to see all the animals we loved and sticking our little plastic Zoo Keys into the electronic tour speakers so we could learn more about each animal. But on this particular trip, one thing boiled inside my mind that I had never thought of as a child. I came to the conclusion that zoos in general were nothing more than animal brothels. The sole purpose of zoos is to get rare and/or endangered animals to do the nasty. You know, the horizontal hustle, the sideways shuffle, the laying down limbo, etc, etc. It, supposedly, is all in good intentions, preserving the species and all that, but nonetheless seems a little dirty to me. Like these animals is nothing more than prostitutes or I mean sex working professionals for all those PCs out there. Sure, I don’t want to see these animals go extinct anymore than the average tree hugging, dirt worshipper does, but isn’t this a little extreme. Perhaps if we didn’t invade their privacy so much by cutting down habitats or hunting, these animals would still be engaging in making the two backed beast on their own time, naturally. Instead, we feel like we need to redeem our own actions by setting up two complete animal strangers, and coaxing them into the sack together. It paints this picture of zoologists getting two hippos drunk, or dressing a leopard up in sexy lingerie and bondage gear. And the saddest part is that sometimes these romantic rendezvous don’t get the results the zoologists are hoping for, either the animals don’t do the dirty deed, or sometimes they do but the female still doesn’t get knocked up. So recently they’ve turned to researching artificial insemination. And it’s not like they have the female’s consent on this, we still can’t communicate with animals. I’m not totally sure, but I do believe that this is a crime if done to a human, something along the terms of rape? So why is it totally acceptable to rape an animal, in the name of preservation? Maybe these “zoologists,” or the term “animal pimps” might be more appropriate, should think about the other issues involved in the depleting of animal species, and start taking more action against human expansion and unregulated hunting?