Masturbation saves lives

With the Supreme Court’s ruling against abortion in South Dakota, I have to wonder, are they approaching this issue in the right direction? Is denying some one a choice really going to keep them from making that choice despite the law?

Personally, I don’t think this is an effective mode of governing. I think it would be much more operative to provide the people with more desirable alternatives. It seems that the option of adoption isn’t desirable enough, considering it includes the responsibility of carrying and birthing the child. So why not choose something that will avoid that whole process. Now I’m not talking about protection (because that’s not 100% reliable), and I’m not talking about abstinence, exactly. I’m talking about masturbation.

Imagine a world free of the abortion debate. A world where people are happy to go to work, they’re friendlier on the street. This is the world I see. A world where masturbation is openly encouraged.

Masturbation provides a safe alternative to sexual delinquency. It is a risk free way to cope with sexual frustrations and desires. Not only can you avoid the complications of pregnancy, but also the risk of contracting an STD.

A lot of people say that the first time they’ve masturbated, it was unfamiliar and uncomfortable. Well don’t despair, just keep going, it’ll feel great as you continue practicing. Think of it as a form of meditation. You’re putting yourself into a trance using repetitive motion. In this trance, you are releasing tensions and desires of your carnal life.

When you finish, you come out of the “trance” feeling relaxed and at peace with the world. Your anger and lust will be suppressed for another day. No longer faced with the controversy of pro-life versus pro-choice, until you find yourself in a secure, committed relationship and you’re mature enough to responsibly make that choice.

So you see, I’m not totally anti-abortion, I just feel that being a man, I don’t have the right to solely govern a woman’s choices, especially those concerning her own body. But I still recognize that I also am not ready to be having children, so I’m doing my part in avoiding that decision. I encourage more people to make the choice to avoid that decision. Go out and masturbate. Save your fruits for later in life, when you’re good and ready to make responsible decisions.