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Of Nice and Men

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As a sister, I have witnessed the struggle and expectations that my brothers have had to go through in order to be accepted and liked by a girl and her family, and I think men overall deserve more credit for their acts of kindness.

I am very well aware that us women also go through challenges and expectations by society and people around us but the difference is that we make people see it. Men are more quiet about it because society has told them to toughen up and just do it, which is kind of unfair especially when their kind actions are overlooked or not acknowledged as something of importance.

Sometimes we may not want to notice or not notice it at all but your boyfriend helping out around your house with siblings, groceries, or even dinner are things that not many people would do. Some people may rather be watching TV while these things get done but when someone does this — often without question — then it probably means that they really want to be part of your life.

Actions like these ones are important because it’s a form of expression for many without using words but actions. There is that famous saying of “actions speak louder than words”, yet many women overlook those action and complain of not being loved enough or the right way. Saying this to someone who is trying to make you happy and show you how much they care for you will potentially take away their motivation to be kind and sweet towards you. I mean if you don’t acknowledge it now, who says you will even notice when it’s gone and realize that something might have changed?

As women get older, we realize the things we want in a man then some remember that they might have had it once but took it for granted and now finding something like that may be harder. For the simple fact that those men who were or are like that try to not show it as much because when they have it has hurt them more than expected.

Being kind is not always easy. It takes courage and strength to put yourself out there and make yourself vulnerable in a situation for someone. Through my brothers and friends, I have seen the process of creating and doing something kind for the ones they love. The small things they think about before giving their girlfriends a present, maybe for their anniversary or just because they want to make her happy.

At the end of the day, these small acts of kindness that men do for their girlfriends are not for them but for the person receiving it. They want to make their day be a little less hectic and be filled with positive vibes. We need to remind ourselves of what these acts of kindness true meaning is.

A Pew Research that surveyed 4,573 Americans on what traits a society values more in women and men in July 2018, stated that even though the research suggests “there is often no consensus on society’s expectations for men and women”, there is still a pattern that follows in which traits related to strength and ambition are more valued for men in society while compassion and kindness and responsibility are more valued in women.

This just emphasizes my point that if a man is kind, he is going against the society’s stereotypes which can be very hard to do sometimes with the access we have to everyone’s opinions about how we should act or be like. Acknowledging this is something that should happen more often and not only in relationships but with the man in your family and people around you.

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The student news site of Skyline College.
Of Nice and Men