Charles Manson’s impending nuptials

Charles Manson, the pseudo father figure to the commune turned killer Manson Family of the 1960s, is getting married early next year. The kicker? His bride-to-be is 26 years old. Sadly, this is a very real thing.

Manson, who has been married two times before, is supposedly set to wed Afton Elaine Burton, a 26 year old who met and fell in love with Manson while she was still just in her teens. The reasoning behind the marriage is raising numerous questions, along with cries of distaste and rage from those affected by Manson’s special type of insanity. While it is being labeled as a publicity stunt by some, and a con by others, none of this seems to make a difference to Burton, who’s love for her fiance seems to be on the level and unshakeable.

But this raises interesting questions from the general public, such as why is this being allowed to happen at all? The California government can’t be too pleased with this, since Manson has been one of the state’s premiere inmates since the 70’s serving a life sentence for his part in the Manson Family murders. Why is Manson still alive at all? Because California is not a death penalty state, so the now 80-year-old Manson sits in a cell most likely receiving truck loads of fan mail from disenchanted youths such as Burton, who apparently moved to Corcoran, CA, in order to be closer to the man she would grow to wed.

What is it, exactly, that possesses someone to try and marry a man like Manson? Is this one of those situations we’ve all grown accustomed to seeing, where a good man or a good woman partners up with a dead beat stooge in the hopes that they can be saved? Here’s a fun fact for you: When Burton was born, Manson was 54 years old. Doesn’t that just make you feel all warm and fuzzy in the bottom of your heart? Or, like most, does that thought make you want to gag and curl up into the fetal position as you strive not to be scream at the top of your lungs?

Sadly this wedding seems on schedule and should be occurring sometime early next year. In all honesty it seems that this is just another vain attempt by Manson to stay relevant and in the forefront of discussion with a generation that has all but forgotten about his existence. It is true that when most young people these days hear the name Manson they are thinking of Marilyn Manson, and not the leader of one of the nations most depraved cults, who was responsible for the so many deaths in his day. I’m sure if Burton were questioned as to why she is marrying Mason she would give us all an intricate story about how he is a sweet, gentle man who just wants to be happy. Did you feel that? There’s another one of those collective gags in the fetal position we were just talking about.