Keeping a secret can be valuable to a generation that has lost its privacy to social media websites and camera phones. But when is it not OK to keep a secret?
September 2012, three 16-year-old boys from Saratoga High School sexually assaulted Audrie Pott at a house party. 15-year-old Pott had passed out after drinking alcohol mixed with Gatorade. The young men had taken photos during the attack and drew on Pott’s body to further humiliate her; the photos were subsequently shown to a handful of students at their high school over the next few days. Pott herself pieced together what happened after seeing the drawings and then finding students grouped around the cellphone of one of her attackers.
Eight days after the incident, Audrie Pott took her life. Her parents were not aware of what had happened a week before.
What these boys did is deplorable, and needs justice. However, any student who knew of the situation and didn’t tell the school or the authorities must be implicated in her death. Instead of supporting her or intervening, much of the school gossiped. Anyone with that kind of trauma cannot be expected to cope without the help of expert clinical care. The troubling bit about this story is the amount of resources available to anyone who has undergone such trauma, including hotlines like 1-800-273-TALK (8255). This number links anyone in need of crisis counseling to an experienced counselor who will do everything in their power to help, such as recommending nearby therapy groups, talking down suicidal callers and will stay on the phone for as long as you need them.
Much of the problem lies with the seductive grasp of gossip. Many girls who are raped do actually tell their close friends, but are ignored. Some will argue that the victim is just seeking attention, albeit a vile kind. These people never say anything because they enjoy hearing the story. Sour grapes are just as disgusting as the act itself, and cannot be tolerated when people take pride in knowing “the secret.” It’s doubtful that any students who actually saw the pictures enjoyed their forced carnal knowledge, but why would they not say anything about the incident? Is it fear of the weight of such a crime? Is it lack of compassion? Is it loyalty to the friendship of the boys who sexually assaulted Pott? A full week passed by with at least a handful of people being privy to what happened. The guilt left from seeing such a heinous act and knowing you could have intervened in this girl’s death must be unbearable.
Worse still is the media coverage of the incident. The family of Audrie Pott allowed the press to use her name in hopes of making her case known and to prevent future incidents. Many news articles concentrate on the details of what happened to the girl; sometimes these details can be disturbingly graphic. While news is meant to give accurate reporting, accurate and inappropriate should never be on national television. Details of what exactly happened to her and where and how and what body parts are all unnecessary and disturbingly focused on a young girl. Reporters trying to cover the story in its entirety are in effect sexually assaulting this girl again posthumously. It boils down again to gossip, when the accurate report should include: warning signs of crisis, crisis intervention and a message of hope for those who experience trauma as severe as this.
This press melee includes pundits and opinion reporters, who through their own bias can ruin the potential message of the story they are breaking. CNN got into hot water in the case Steubenville, Ohio, where two high school football players were found guilty of raping a girl in the third week of March. Anchorwoman Candy Crowley sympathized with the boys their “pain” of being found guilty and wonder “the lasting effect of two young [men] being guilty in juvenile court of rape. What about the girl, who is the victim of rape?
Instead of gossiping, we need to focus on outreach. Reporters and society as a whole need to lose their obsession with the gritty details and learn how to properly address such a sensitive topic. Our schools need better instruction when it comes to how to react to situations such as these, and how to find help. There is hope for victims of sexual assault and this is the message that needs to come across loud and clear. If this message isn’t obvious, reporters have failed their job in being accurate as possible. Every mention of this story needs to include warning signs like talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live, mentioning death or feeling trapped, expressing oneself as being a burden to others or even extreme mood swings. Every mention of this story needs to include a link to the incredibly helpful resources found online at sites such as suicidepreventionlifeline.org. Websites like this even have resources for the deaf; there is no excuse why someone shouldn’t be able to access help.
Individually, we need to learn the importance of speaking up when someone is hurt. Without your voice, the victim can never be helped and will continue to hurt. Your silence is painful.
This article has been edited to fix AP styles and reword the seventh paragraph to flow better. 4/22/2013 2:54 p.m.
