Worth the Wait

Prop. 8 – which not only stripped the homosexual community of their rights to be both legally married couples and life partners, but also imposed a state-wide ban on any future homosexual marriages – was found unconstitutional by a federal judge on August 8. The case was appealed almost immediately, and an indefinite hold was placed on gay marriage while a panel of judges reviews the decision.

 In the interest of being clear, let me first say that I am whole-heartedly in favor of a person being able to marry whomever they choose, be it your “vanilla” man-woman couple or a same-sex couple.  It seems to me that marriage is about being in love with a person, and wanting to spend the rest of your life caring for them and supporting them in the same way that they care for and support you – and the person you chose to spend your life with shouldn’t be subject to rules written in a 3,000-year-old book.

 While most supporters of gay marriage are upset about the decision to postpone gay marriages, which will likely stretch into 2011, I believe it is a step in the right direction.

 I can’t pretend to understand how infuriating it must be to have the state constantly shifting stance on the subject, and for decisions to constantly be postponed in the way that they have been. However, I believe that it’s important that when the final decision has been reached – and I believe that there is no way it will not be in favor of gay marriage – it should be reached without a shred of doubt or controversy.

 If the decision is rushed into, or decided by one judge whose character might be called into question, or any number of other factors that might affect how people view the decision down the line, then it’s tainted.  Any stance taken that has even the slightest weakness in it can only last as long as it takes for someone to point out that weakness.

 Yes, I would like the state as a whole to come to its senses and stop denying human beings their equal rights over petty and unfounded grudges about religious beliefs or family values.  Yes, I would like it if people could accept that what makes another person happy is what makes them happy and you can’t “fix” that no matter how much religion or ethics or debate or morals you try and pour into them.  Yes, I would like Prop. 8 to be repealed tomorrow and for humanity as a whole to never look back.

 Unfortunately, society doesn’t work that way.  But if we can’t do the right thing immediately, we can at least be sure that the right thing is done eventually.  When the judges make their final decision, we want that decision to be solid.  If it takes a while to reach that decision, that’s something people will just have to deal with.  In the end, and if the decision is the right one, it will be well worth the wait.