2008 Woodie Awards
AIDS is evolution
John Harrison
Date created: 12/7/04 Section: OPINION
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Even less expensive than the free condoms, and totally safer, is the choice to remain abstinent. For those of you who don't know, this word roughly means sex-free. Guys, quit flinching, it's the best way to avoid getting some bubbling pocket of puss on your gentiles, so give it a second chance. Consider it.
Since most people won't consider giving up sex in order to save their lives, nor do they want a rubber around their reproductive rods, there seems to be only one solution left: Toss those condoms and get to the love makin'.
The faster the weaker of our race dies off from unprotected, condom-less humping, the faster humanity will develop immunity to the sexually transmitted diseases that kill us. Human beings are versatile creatures... we can get through these mad times of death and disease, but running scared, hiding behind a condom won't get the job done. The human race has to step up to the plate and face the itchy sores and puss-filled blisters of evolution or all is lost for the future. With a mass percentage of the human race dying from AIDS, nature will have to compensate by strengthening our immune systems to keep us alive. Or, nature will slap us in the face and let us die horrible deaths.
And if you're saying to yourself, "Hey man, this guy John is pretty harsh," you'd be all wrong. I like humans. They're decent, sometimes. But I stopped looking at the human race as a collection of intelligent individuals long ago, replacing that illusion with the truth: humans, as a species, are idiots. We won't wear minimally uncomfortable slips of rubber to save our race. I wouldn't call that smart, for sure.
I'd call that evolution.
Since most people won't consider giving up sex in order to save their lives, nor do they want a rubber around their reproductive rods, there seems to be only one solution left: Toss those condoms and get to the love makin'.
The faster the weaker of our race dies off from unprotected, condom-less humping, the faster humanity will develop immunity to the sexually transmitted diseases that kill us. Human beings are versatile creatures... we can get through these mad times of death and disease, but running scared, hiding behind a condom won't get the job done. The human race has to step up to the plate and face the itchy sores and puss-filled blisters of evolution or all is lost for the future. With a mass percentage of the human race dying from AIDS, nature will have to compensate by strengthening our immune systems to keep us alive. Or, nature will slap us in the face and let us die horrible deaths.
And if you're saying to yourself, "Hey man, this guy John is pretty harsh," you'd be all wrong. I like humans. They're decent, sometimes. But I stopped looking at the human race as a collection of intelligent individuals long ago, replacing that illusion with the truth: humans, as a species, are idiots. We won't wear minimally uncomfortable slips of rubber to save our race. I wouldn't call that smart, for sure.
I'd call that evolution.
