2008 Woodie Awards
I'm Mentioning
The perils of parking on campus are not as bad as you think
Frank Romero
Date created: 9/8/04 Section: OPINION
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In my hardly humble opinion, I would like to openly state that the student body here at Skyline has become a very large group of very lazy and deficient whiners, hopelessly tossing their useless and pathetic complaints about finding a place to put their car to an administration that probably neither cares nor has the power to do anything about the situation as it now stands.
This is not to say that everyone on campus fits this description. I do not intend to insult everybody; just those that deserve it and believe me try as you might to deny it, you all certainly know if this piece is directed towards you.
Now imagine this for a moment, if you will. You are walking across an empty parking lot. It is cold and it looks as if it is about to rain. As you continue forward, you notice very few cars left in the lot. It looks as if everyone left in a hurry and you aren't sure why.
Suddenly, you realize you're at your car, but you haven't been walking for very long at all. It is at this moment that you realize that classes have ended and all the other students have gone home. Thinking back on your experience you come to the realization that parking is not that far from campus after all.
Now wake up look around. Where are you? I'd be willing to bet your sitting somewhere on the Skyline campus, probably not too far from the location of your car. After all the complaining and the whining about how hard it is to find parking, you realize that there is plenty of parking that you didn't want to know about because you didn't want to have to park an extra 20 feet from the campus grounds.
So, until Skyline takes the time to invent, install, and make fully operational a science fiction-like matter transporter, capable of moving people, and objects across vast distances in mere nanoseconds (with very little chance of conflict involving people getting body parts mixed up with one another while traveling at the same time to different locations) perhaps we should just accept that walking is not the biggest of deals in this world and will certainly not hurt you in the long run.
Signing off for now, I am the Accordion Cowboy and this is what I'm mentioning.
This is not to say that everyone on campus fits this description. I do not intend to insult everybody; just those that deserve it and believe me try as you might to deny it, you all certainly know if this piece is directed towards you.
Now imagine this for a moment, if you will. You are walking across an empty parking lot. It is cold and it looks as if it is about to rain. As you continue forward, you notice very few cars left in the lot. It looks as if everyone left in a hurry and you aren't sure why.
Suddenly, you realize you're at your car, but you haven't been walking for very long at all. It is at this moment that you realize that classes have ended and all the other students have gone home. Thinking back on your experience you come to the realization that parking is not that far from campus after all.
Now wake up look around. Where are you? I'd be willing to bet your sitting somewhere on the Skyline campus, probably not too far from the location of your car. After all the complaining and the whining about how hard it is to find parking, you realize that there is plenty of parking that you didn't want to know about because you didn't want to have to park an extra 20 feet from the campus grounds.
So, until Skyline takes the time to invent, install, and make fully operational a science fiction-like matter transporter, capable of moving people, and objects across vast distances in mere nanoseconds (with very little chance of conflict involving people getting body parts mixed up with one another while traveling at the same time to different locations) perhaps we should just accept that walking is not the biggest of deals in this world and will certainly not hurt you in the long run.
Signing off for now, I am the Accordion Cowboy and this is what I'm mentioning.
