2008 Woodie Awards
What the...?!?
A little pepper to go with that grain of salt
Neill Herbert
Date created: 4/5/04 Section: ENTERTAINMENT
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Life is serious business. But, if variety is the spice of life, then a small dose of triviality peppered here and there certainly doesn't hurt. In fact, a little trifling frivolity of seemingly worthless character probably adds some balance to the diet of the soul. With that inspiration in mind, let's see what balance we can gain from a random sampling of trivial-but-true gleanings from the past couple weeks.
Speaking of a balanced diet, a cake in La Trinidad, Philippines may have Dr. Atkins rolling over in his grave. Chefs there used a ton of flour, three tons of strawberries, and one thousand eggs to bake their eight-foot-tall cake. It sits on a 384-square-foot base and weighs 24,572 pounds. And they can eat it too.
Reuters reports that the University of Manchester has hired Paul Agutter as a professor of ethics. He will be teaching a course on ethics and science at the British university. The professor has established himself as something of an expert in both of those fields. After all, it takes superior knowledge of science to manufacture enough deadly toxins to secretly contaminate several drinks at a local Safeway and a firm grasp on ethics to attempt to murder his wife by poisoning her drink with nightshade. Hey, they didn't specify what kind of ethics he would be teaching.
By the way, Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.
Here's a guy who got his own crash course in ethics. Last month, a German man trying to steal clothes that were to be donated to charity got was coming to him. The man slipped and fell into the metal bin containing the clothes and found himself trapped in the pile of linens with only his arms sticking out. According to the police who arrived on the scene, the ensnared thief was holding a cigarette in one hand and demanding, "Give me a light!" They gave him a subpoena instead.
Several politicians in Holland are calling for the government to make bestiality illegal after a man was found violating a pony. The man was arrested but allowed to go free because there is no Dutch law outlawing sex with animals. However, the government's main concern with bestiality has nothing to do with the moral or psychological implications, but with the animal's lack of ability to give consent. Said one parliament member, "It is pure maltreatment and should therefore be punished." The pony, however, was not available to give its own comment.
Speaking of a balanced diet, a cake in La Trinidad, Philippines may have Dr. Atkins rolling over in his grave. Chefs there used a ton of flour, three tons of strawberries, and one thousand eggs to bake their eight-foot-tall cake. It sits on a 384-square-foot base and weighs 24,572 pounds. And they can eat it too.
Reuters reports that the University of Manchester has hired Paul Agutter as a professor of ethics. He will be teaching a course on ethics and science at the British university. The professor has established himself as something of an expert in both of those fields. After all, it takes superior knowledge of science to manufacture enough deadly toxins to secretly contaminate several drinks at a local Safeway and a firm grasp on ethics to attempt to murder his wife by poisoning her drink with nightshade. Hey, they didn't specify what kind of ethics he would be teaching.
By the way, Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.
Here's a guy who got his own crash course in ethics. Last month, a German man trying to steal clothes that were to be donated to charity got was coming to him. The man slipped and fell into the metal bin containing the clothes and found himself trapped in the pile of linens with only his arms sticking out. According to the police who arrived on the scene, the ensnared thief was holding a cigarette in one hand and demanding, "Give me a light!" They gave him a subpoena instead.
Several politicians in Holland are calling for the government to make bestiality illegal after a man was found violating a pony. The man was arrested but allowed to go free because there is no Dutch law outlawing sex with animals. However, the government's main concern with bestiality has nothing to do with the moral or psychological implications, but with the animal's lack of ability to give consent. Said one parliament member, "It is pure maltreatment and should therefore be punished." The pony, however, was not available to give its own comment.
