The student news site of Skyline College.

The Skyline View

The Skyline Pretty Committee helps Halloween become bewitchingly beautiful

Michelle Brignoli, TSV Opinions Editor

October 31

Filed under Halloween, Satire Section

Ten days before Halloween, the Skyline Pretty Committee rented Skyline Theatre to host a pre-Halloween makeover they called, “Drab to Fab: Skyline’s Spooky Beauties.” Skyline students, faculty, and community members were welcome to join in the fall festivities. “Just for the occasion we tweaked our mission statement...

First contact with alien life: Trump’s hair

Matt Pacelli, TSV Staff Writer

October 31

Filed under Halloween, Satire Section

Scientists recently discovered that Donald Trump’s hair is a sentient lifeform, seeking nothing more than total world domination. The discovery was the end result of weeks of alcohol fueled speculation, followed by an extensive period of Adderall fueled research, conducted by leading scientists at Chico State. This marks...

Bigfoot seen on campus, causes major public safety issue

Will Nacouzi, TSV Staff Writer

October 31

Filed under Halloween, Satire Section

In an unusual turn of events, students have reported seeing Bigfoot in the hills around the campus, with even some students even going as far to say that they have seen him around campus on the rooms. These campus sightings have been proven to be false by security camera footage from Public Safety. The footage is available...

Students protest blood shortages

Will Nacouzi, TSV Staff Writer

October 31

Filed under Halloween, Satire Section

In recent news, vampire students are protesting against the blood shortages on campus and are demanding that the campus takes more action in order to increase the supply of blood. "This is an outrage" student government president Tom Chi said. "Students who are vampires have the same rights as other students, regardless of...

Man turned into zombie by tomato

Laurel B. Lujan, TSV News Editor

October 31

Filed under Halloween, Satire Section

URGENT- If a man with a gruesome head injury is seen walking around campus, do not approach him. Tomato injuries are on the rise. More and more people are dying from these injuries causing them to eventually, after death, become a tomato loving zombie. People seen drinking V-8 by these zombies are to suffer horrific tomato...

Quidditch comes back to Skyline College due to student demand

Sarah Marasigan, TSV Focal Point Editor

October 31

Filed under Halloween, Satire Section

Due to overwhelming student demand, Trojans Quidditch is back on the pitch. There had been concerns over several components of Quidditch being dangerous, one being the extreme physical nature of the game, and the other being that many times the team was playing in weather conditions that were harsh and made it almost impossible...

Skyline could become dinosaur containment facility

Skyline could become dinosaur containment facility

April 1

A Tyrannosaurus Rex ravaged the campus on March 31. Bystanders were shocked and helpless regarding...

The Skyline Pretty Committee comes to town

The Skyline Pretty Committee comes to town

Michelle Brignoli, TSV Staff Writer

April 1

Filed under April Fools

We are The Skyline Pretty Committee (TSPC), and anyone is welcome to join us as long as you can walk...

Skyline bans coffee on April Fools!

Skyline bans coffee on April Fools!

April 1

On April 1 Skyline announced that they will be banning coffee and other products that contain caffeine...

Homeless maniac a frontrunner in upcoming student government elections

Homeless maniac a frontrunner in upcoming student government elections

April 1

What’s that smell? Is it trash? A dead whale? No—It’s success. The sweet pungent smell of success. Rappin’...

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